Saturday, June 23, 2012

Feeling Okay

I'm probably about five weeks along? I haven't had any major symptoms yet, just windy winds, and sore boobs. Also, the pimples have seemed to throw a party on my face!  After my BFP, I've started to become hungrier a lot more. :| It's definitely annoying! I know its really early but I hope that the symptoms stay to a minimum ! (fingers crossed)

Fishy business..

I did NOT expect to get pregnant. In the past, I've tried, countless times with my ex, but now, with my new s/o, I didn't bother trying. I said welp, It's going to happen one day.. and it did, unexpectedly! I'm a baby fanatic; I offer to babysit my family member's babies, I don't care if I get paid or not because I LOVE it; I'd even baby sit day and night for a week if they'd let me. The longest I have, was three days with 6 month old twins, and I loved every moment of it. I love taking care of babies; giving baths, putting them down for bed, play time, and I like the challenge of calming down a crying baby. I think I may have a high tolerance for crying babies? ANYWAY! The thing is I have a small blood cyst. Never caused any problems, no missed periods, bleeding, etc. Yet this month, I get spotting, and a missed period, along with my grandmother telling me she dreamt of fish. Simply put: whenever anyone in the family is pregnant, she dreams of them. It doesn't even have to symbolize pregnancy, one time she dreamt of a big black fish, and sadly, she lost her aunt to cancer. When she told me she dreamt of fish, I was half on board. I mean before I was speculating if I was or not but after I tested, I was completely on board and sailing!

Friday June 23, 2012 ... 

My cousin who was waiting for the results, stood in the doorway and I smiled at her, my sign for YES, YES it's positive! My excitement was short lived though :S My gran told a cousin to tell ME: I need to go to the dr and do what I have to do... an abortion? My heart dropped, because out of everyone's excitement I had, I didn't have her support or anything. AND she calls herself a christian !!! She's probably thinking I'll suffer, or pregnancy will bog me down, given that I have a few health problems like: depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia. I slept off a little of that steam and anger and I have barely spoken two words to her. I don't know what to say yet. I'm still in shock about being pregnant, trying to let it sink in fully. Still feels like a dream ....


The purpose of this blog is for me to document my first pregnancy, (and maybe more!) and will also serve as an outlet for my frustrations, and excitements, and hopes, etc.
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